Breathe Sabrina breathe. Is all I said to myself the whole six hour flight to Las Vegas. A week prior I had dropped all of my classes, picked everything I had to put in a tiny suitcase, and listened to those telling me not to go only to embark on one of the hardest paths I will probably ever take in my life. For three months I was going to be living with seven strangers in a penthouse suite at the Goldspike in downtown. All I had was myself. I felt as if my future was in the palm of my hands. I wish I had known then what I know now.
My experience on reality television was far from glamorous. Everyday you are told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Real World has been running for over thirty years. It is by no means scripted. You are told by a higher power when you can leave and when you can not. The drama over race, religion, and sexuality was an everyday battle. You will get airtime based on how much drama and sexual tension you cause. I came on this MTV show to gain exposure for my music and every week I needed to remind myself of the common goal or I would have gone home. Each week we are given different missions if you do not complete the missions you go home. The first day I arrived I jumped out of a hot air ballon, the week after I had tarantulas crawling on me, and my own personal mission to find my biological mother.
This experience has allowed me many opportunities I would not have. There is a large stigma against reality television and how easy it must be. I have the up most respect for people who put themselves what I went through because it is far from a walk in the park, especially women. You are emotionally, mentally, and physically tested. I don’t think I will ever look at reality television the same. It made me realize as a woman trying to break through in this industry you are going to be sexualized one way or another. I didn’t have any privacy when I was changing I was constantly surrounded by camera crew that I could not even speak to. I do not have as many followers as some of my female cast mates because I am not sexualizing myself on television or through my social media. The sad reality for this industry is that sex and controversy are what sells. I refuse to fall into that just to gain a couple thousand followers. As a woman you have to have balls in a mans industry.
The show needs to get back to showing the lives of young people who want to make a difference without the partying, sex, and drama. It is sad to say these are the types of attributes that sell in society today especially in reality television. I do not regret my experience but I would like there to be a show someday that shows real genuine experiences of people without all the extra attributes. I guess you can call that my utopian idea of reality television. I can tell you the real world is nothing like the real world.